What To Do When Someone with Bipolar Pushes You Away

What To Do When Someone with Bipolar Pushes You Away: A Comprehensive Guide by JCL Behavioral Health

Caring for someone with bipolar disorder can be an emotionally taxing experience, especially when they begin to push you away. It’s important to remember that these actions are often a reflection of their mental state rather than a reflection of your relationship. This comprehensive guide aims to offer strategies and insights into how you can support someone with bipolar disorder, even when they seem distant or unresponsive.

Understanding Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder, also known as manic depression, is a mental health condition characterized by significant mood swings that include emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression). These mood fluctuations are more extreme than the typical ups and downs that everyone experiences.
During manic phases, individuals may feel extremely energetic, euphoric, and productive. Conversely, during depressive phases, they may experience deep sadness, hopelessness, and fatigue. These shifts in mood can affect how a person interacts with others, often leading them to push loved ones away.
Bipolar disorder is a complex condition with various factors influencing its management and the behaviors associated with it. Understanding these factors can help you provide better support to someone you care about.

Recognize the Signs of Pushing Away

When someone with bipolar disorder is pushing you away, it’s crucial to recognize the signs:

1. Social Withdrawal: They may isolate themselves from friends and family, avoiding social interactions they previously enjoyed.
2. Dismissive Behavior: They might be short, dismissive, or cold in their interactions with you.
3. Avoidance of Deep Conversations: They may limit discussions about their feelings or mental state, preferring not to delve into emotional topics.
4. Increased Irritability: They might show heightened irritability, impatience, or annoyance, especially when questioned about their well-being or treatment.
5. Avoidance of Treatment Discussions: They could actively avoid talking about their treatment plan, medications, or therapy sessions.
6. Excuses to Avoid Plans: They might cancel or make excuses to skip commitments or activities planned together, particularly during depressive episodes.
7. Duration of Ghosting: The duration of this withdrawal can vary, from a few days to several weeks, depending on the severity of their mood episode. Severe depressive episodes might lead to extended periods of ghosting, lasting over a month.

Immediate Strategies for Supporting Someone with Bipolar Disorder

When someone with bipolar disorder begins to push you away, it’s essential to handle the situation with empathy and understanding. Here are practical strategies to help:

1. Show Support and Respect Their Need for Space

When someone with bipolar disorder pushes you away, express your support and respect their need for space. Let them know you care and are there to help without being invasive.

• Communicate Your Support: Send occasional texts or messages to reassure them that you’re available if they need you. Avoid making demands or setting expectations for interaction.
• Provide Low-Key Support: Offer simple gestures of support, such as checking in with a supportive message or a small act of kindness, rather than expecting prolonged or intense interactions.

2. Respect Their Boundaries

It’s crucial not to overstep their boundaries when they need space. Here’s how to manage this:

• Ask Rather Than Assume: Instead of guessing what they need, ask them directly how you can support them during this time.
• Accept Their Limits: Respect their wishes if they prefer not to talk or need to be alone. Offer help in small, non-intrusive ways, like bringing over a meal or sending a thoughtful note.
• Avoid Pressuring Them: Understand that their mood changes are part of their condition and not a reflection of your relationship. If they decline plans, don’t take it personally.

3. Encourage Professional Help

Encouraging someone to seek professional help is crucial, but it should be done with sensitivity:

• Suggest Therapy or Counseling: Recommend speaking with a mental health professional if they haven’t already. Therapy can provide them with tools to manage their symptoms and improve their well-being.
• Offer Support for Professional Visits: Help them find a therapist or psychiatrist if needed, and support them in scheduling and attending appointments.

4. Listen Without Giving Unsolicited Advice

When someone with bipolar disorder is pushing you away, your role is primarily to listen:

• Be a Good Listener: Allow them to express their feelings at their own pace. Avoid offering solutions unless they specifically ask for advice.
• Refrain from Judging: Listen empathetically and validate their feelings without trying to correct or change their perspective.
• Avoid Making It About You: Share your experiences only if it’s relevant and requested. Focus on their feelings rather than turning the conversation towards your own experiences.

5. Do Not Try to Correct Their Behavior

Respect their boundaries and avoid reacting negatively when they push you away:

• Understand Their Behavior: Recognize that their actions are influenced by their condition, not a personal slight against you.
• Offer Support, Not Solutions: Instead of trying to fix their problems, focus on understanding their experience and offering emotional support.

The Impact of Tough Love

Tough love is often considered an approach to encourage someone to change their behavior. However, this method is generally not effective for individuals with bipolar disorder:

• Biological Basis of Bipolar Disorder: Bipolar disorder involves chemical imbalances in the brain that cannot be controlled through willpower alone.
• Impaired Judgment: During mood episodes, a person’s judgment and decision-making abilities may be significantly impaired, making confrontational approaches counterproductive.
• Increased Stress: Confrontational methods can increase stress and exacerbate symptoms, leading to further emotional distress and conflict.

A supportive, understanding approach is more effective than tough love. Comprehensive treatment and a nurturing environment are essential for managing bipolar disorder.

Final Thoughts

Supporting someone with bipolar disorder can be challenging, especially when they push you away. It’s important to recognize that their behavior is often a result of their condition rather than a reflection of your relationship.By showing patience, respect, and understanding, you can provide meaningful support. Encouraging professional help and focusing on empathetic listening will help maintain your relationship and support their mental health journey.

If you or someone you know is struggling with bipolar disorder, JCL Behavioral Health is here to offer expert care and guidance. Our team is dedicated to providing the support needed for better mental health and well-being. Contact us today to learn more about our services and how we can assist in navigating the challenges of bipolar disorder.

FAQs

What should you not say to someone with bipolar disorder?

Avoid telling them to “cheer up” or “snap out of it,” as their moods are beyond their control. Also, steer clear of suggesting that things will get better quickly, as the timeline for improvement can be unpredictable.

How does a person with bipolar disorder think in relationships?

Bipolar disorder can cause intense mood swings that impact how a person feels about their partner. These mood shifts can create instability and inconsistency in their emotions and behavior.

Do bipolar partners come back?

Partners with bipolar disorder may withdraw during difficult periods, but with compassionate support and appropriate treatment, they can stabilize and reconnect. Maintain hope and continue to offer support while respecting their process.